Maybe a bit surprisingly, Juri really liked his job. He was proud to be able to say that he was a footman in a great house like Downton Abbey, and he really wished he could continue working there and maybe even earn a higher position someday. People sometimes told him he lacked real ambition, but lately it felt like he’d discovered some towards his job.
Therefore, when the position for Mr. Taiga’s valet suddenly became available, Juri thought it was a sign for him. Despite disliking the youngest Kyomoto, Juri carefully wrote an application for the position, keenly encouraged by Shintaro and Jesse.
After a couple of days, once the workday was over, Juri walked into Mr. Inohara’s room and handed him the application letter. The butler took it and, upon seeing what it was, looked at Juri with a curious expression. It was a mixture of surprise and – contentment. His smile was warm when he told Juri that he’d keep him informed about the process.
After that, Juri waited. And waited. A week went by, then another. Hayashi was still there, but he’d be gone by the end of the month, so Juri had heard. Still, whenever he carefully inquired about the application process from Mr. Inohara, the butler just said he had nothing new to tell Juri.
“How long can one application process take?” Juri huffed and took a drag of his cigarette. He looked at Shintaro, whom he had half-forced to accompany him to his afternoon cigarette break. “Maybe the old Hayashi isn’t leaving after all…”
“Oh no, he’s leaving,” Shintaro told him. “He already made sure I can drive him to the station at the end of the month.”
“Why then? This waiting is killing me.”
“I think it’s just Mr. Taiga being difficult as always,” Shintaro said. “Can’t decide which candidate to choose, or something.”
Juri heaved a long sigh. “I know it probably won’t be me but I still keep hoping…”
Shintaro immediately nudged him with his elbow. “Why wouldn’t it be you? You’re good at your job! And you’re already part of the household. I’d say you have a huge advantage against anyone. Cheer up!”
“Thank you,” Juri said and couldn’t help a small smile. At least someone believed in him if he himself didn’t all the time.
–
A couple of days later, Juri was in the dining room setting up the table for the family’s dinner with Jesse. Jesse used the measure stick to make sure all the chairs were equally far from the table, while Juri checked the cutlery and glassware.
“How long until they decide on the new valet?” Jesse wondered aloud. “It’s been ages already.”
“Tell me about it,” Juri said.
“I have a feeling it’s going to be you,” Jesse told Juri with a smile. “How could they have found anyone better?”
Juri snorted. “That’s too flattering, but thank you.”
They continued guessing what kind of other candidates there could’ve been and how Juri could possibly deal with Mr. Taiga if he was chosen for the position. They were just finishing with the setting, when Mr. Inohara suddenly walked into the dining room. Juri and Jesse fell silent and straightened their posture at once.
“We’re almost done here, Mr. Inohara,” Juri informed the butler, worried that they’d imperceptibly taken up too much time.
“Good, good,” the butler said, but didn’t seem to be interested in the dinner table. “If you could finish up the table, Juri? And Jesse, I’d need you to come with me for a moment.”
Juri and Jesse quickly exchanged confused glances. The request was a bit out of the blue, and to Juri’s eyes, Mr. Inohara also seemed somewhat tense, which was unusual for him.
“Is something wrong, sir?” Jesse asked, concerned.
“Oh no, nothing like that. I just need a moment,” the butler ensured and gestured towards the door.
Jesse gave Juri one more baffled look before marching out of the room in Mr. Inohara’s tow. Juri was left alone to wonder what was so urgent that couldn’t wait until after the dinner. He supposed he’d hear all about it from Jesse later. Returning to the task at hand, he did a final check for the setting and straightened the last few chairs before returning back downstairs.
—
Juri didn’t get a chance to ask Jesse about the matter before dinner. He was barely able to exchange a few sparse words with him while they were waiting for the dishes to take them upstairs.
”What was it earlier? With Mr. Inohara?” Juri asked Jesse when they stood in the kitchen and the cook Mrs. Matsuda and kitchen maids laid out the dinner dishes to the trays.
”Uh, I’ll… tell you about it later,” Jesse muttered as an answer.
”Enough babbling!” Mr. Inohara chided behind them. ”Let’s take the first dishes up.”
Juri sighed, took the appetiser tray and followed Mr. Inohara upstairs. After that, it was impossible to even think about chatting with Jesse. To Juri, the other footman looked a bit preoccupied during the dinner and didn’t meet his eyes across the room like usual.
Juri got his answer to all this peculiarity right after dinner. Not from Jesse, though. Mr. Inohara called Juri to his room the moment the cleanup after dinner was done. The butler looked so serious that for a moment Juri thought he and Jesse were in some kind of trouble after all.
”Take a seat,” Mr. Inohara offered once he’d closed the door and sat behind his desk.
Even more ominous, Juri thought in passing while sitting on the chair in front of the desk. Mr. Inohara fiddled with some papers for a moment before resting his arms on the desk and looking at Juri. His gaze was surprisingly sympathetic. Suddenly, with a weird premonition, Juri knew what was coming.
“I’ll get straight to the point,” Mr. Inohara said. “They have chosen the new valet, and I regret to inform you that the final choice was not you.”
“Oh. I… I see.” Juri had known, and yet upon actually hearing it aloud, he felt the disappointment pierce his body, leaving it numb all over.
Mr. Inohara looked at him almost apologetically. “I really am very sorry, Juri. I think you would’ve made an excellent valet, but–”
Weirdly, Mr. Inohara’s regret made Juri feel even worse, so he dared this once to interrupt him.
“Who got it then?”
“Excuse me?”
“Who got the position?” Juri wanted to know to whom he had lost. Surely the man came from another great house, perhaps from an even bigger city. Surprisingly, his question made the butler look somewhat uneasy.
“Well, we’re about to announce it to all the staff in a moment, actually,” Mr. Inohara said slowly. “But I’ll make an exception for you, since you were also an applicant and… Yes. It may be surprising to you, perhaps even shocking, but you must understand that the decision was ultimately Mr. Taiga’s. He insisted on it and his Lordship, as well as I, eventually agreed.”
“Who is it, Mr. Inohara?”
One last sympathetic look. “It’s Jesse.”
It was like someone had poured icy cold water to his insides. Juri just sat there, completely appalled, barely even hearing what Mr. Inohara was saying to him. He felt cold, empty, sick. He didn’t know one could feel disappointment so strongly.
Mr. Inohara kept talking, and Juri felt himself nodding and heard himself giving short answers, though in reality his mind was totally blank. The next thing he realised, the butler was kindly walking him out of the room. He said something about the announcement, servants’ hall, and how Juri didn’t have to be there if he didn’t want to. Juri nodded mutely, and was left standing frozen in the corridor after Mr. Inohara walked off.
Upon Mr. Inohara’s call, all the servants started gathering in the hall, and Juri eventually followed the maids and hall boys into the room. He lingered back, by the wall. Over everyone’s heads, he saw Mr. Inohara at the front, and Jesse was there beside him.
Another icy wave washed over him, and suddenly Juri couldn’t be there anymore. He couldn’t bear the expectant and excited atmosphere of the other servants, couldn’t bear standing there watching Mr. Inohara announce Jesse as the new valet.
Juri spun around and rushed along the corridor, to the back door and out. The cool night air welcomed him, and he stood at the back yard for a moment, taking deep breaths, trying to calm the turmoil inside him.
Juri paced back and forth a couple of times, uncertain where to go or what to do. The fresh air and the silence did clear his head and mind a bit, and after a while his steps led him away from the back yard. He walked towards huge oak trees that grew by the stable building, and flopped down on a low stone fence circling under them.
He hadn’t sat there for very long when he heard steps on the gravel behind him. He really didn’t want to talk with anyone, but he also didn’t feel like running away so he just sat there, grumpy, listening to the steps approaching.
That someone hopped over the fence and sat down next to Juri. It was Shintaro. Of course it was.
”I kind of came here to be alone,” Juri said after a short silence.
”I know,” Shintaro answered right away. ”Still thought I’d check in. That was quite a surprise, huh?”
Juri didn’t even bother to answer, the disappointment still burning painfully in his chest. Why? He heaved a deep sigh.
“Look, I’m sorry,” Shintaro said softly. “I know how much you wanted the position. But… Um, I hope you’re not thinking of leaving Downton now?”
“What?” Juri glanced at Shintaro, totally taken aback by the question. The chauffeur looked almost sheepish, shrugging.
“You clearly want to be a valet, so I thought… If this didn’t work, you’d maybe want to try on some other house.”
“No. I mean, yes, I’d want to be a valet someday, but I don’t want to leave… Downton. Not yet, at least.”
Shintaro broke into a wide smile, looking relieved and content. “Thank god! How could I survive here without you?”
Right back at you, Juri thought. He really wouldn't be able to leave Downton anytime soon. Despite himself, he felt a smile tug at his lips when he watched Shintaro beaming at him. For a second, he even forgot his anger and disappointment. But only for a second.
“Hey, don’t be too mad at Jesse, alright?” Shintaro asked him then. “I don’t think he meant to hurt or offend you.”
“Well, too late for that.”
Shintaro sighed. “Then be mad at him for tonight, get it out of your system. And starting tomorrow you can try to move past it? Perhaps?”
“Can’t make any promises on that.”
—
Unfortunately, they still shared a room. Juri did his very best to be in bed and pretend to sleep before Jesse would turn up, but didn’t succeed. He had just opened his duvet, ready to dive in, when the door opened and Jesse was there.
Both of them stopped on their tracks, looking anywhere but at each other. Jesse was swaying slightly, and Juri had noticed his reddened cheeks. Shintaro had said that Mr. Inohara had opened up a bottle of wine as a celebration.
“Congratulations!” Juri then said, talking towards his bed, his voice coming out strained and mock cheerful. “Though it would’ve been nice to hear beforehand that you were also after the position, you know?”
“I wasn’t! I didn’t apply–”
“I don’t want to hear it!” Juri snapped, finally glancing at Jesse. The anger flamed up again inside him. He didn’t even want to look at Jesse. He wondered if he would be allowed to switch rooms…
For now, he climbed in the bed, pulling the cover up and turning promptly away from Jesse.
“Juri… Please–”
“I want to sleep, be quiet.”
Uncomfortable, loud silence fell into the room. Jesse apparently stood frozen in the doorway as Juri didn’t hear him moving. Something was broken between them, Juri knew it, and underneath all his anger he felt bad. But the burning bitterness and disappointment kept him still.
He squeezed his eyes shut, willing for sleep to come, but for once it didn’t. He listened to Jesse moving around in the room and finally lying down, too. The last candle was blown out.
Juri lay awake in the darkness for a long time. And had he noticed the lack of soft snoring from the opposite bed, he’d have known that Jesse wasn’t sleeping either.